Season 7 Episode 16

Episode 308


Sky One Transmission Date:

Sunday 18th January 2004


Directed by

David Penn


GS: Joel Brooks (Craig Charles)



Whilst sneaking into the Players’ Lounge during a game, Jeff bumps into Joel Brooks, a former colleague in the agenting world and learns that Joel has heard about Lee’s talent. With Lee not yet eighteen, and Jeff unable to represent him, he pressurises Nikki into taking her agent exams six months early so they can sign Lee straight away and stop Joel coming in for him. When Pilar discovers that Nikki is still in with Jeff, and will be taking her exams this coming Saturday – a match day, she spitefully fires her. Viv makes an impressive debut in goal against Newcastle, and is awarded with the ‘Man Of The Match’ champagne.



When the team are reluctant to celebrate with Viv, he takes offence and violently hurls the champagne bottle against the wall. It’s Chelsea’s birthday, and after blindfolding her at the club Viv takes her to Studs where she learns he has bought her the bar. A birthday party is thrown for Chelsea at Studs and after she and Curtis are introduced, Viv becomes paranoid and forcibly rips a urinal off the wall and drops it onto Curtis’ foot. Because of this, Curtis will be out of the game for the next two weeks. With Curtis injured and Ryan and Luke both out, Stuart decides to put Lee in the first team for Saturday.


Upon learning of this, Jeff organises a three week holiday for himself and Lee in an attempt to keep Lee from playing. When Andy Ansah arrives with an FA Registration form Nikki demands Jeff let Lee know and decide for himself. Lee overhears and is furious that Jeff tried to stop him from playing. Nikki then takes Lee to the club, where together they excitedly send off his registration. When Stuart arrives to discuss his first game the following day, Lee becomes so nervous that he is vomiting all night. Nikki stays up with him and ends up in a panic on the morning of her exams.


As they wait to get onto the pitch, Viv’s teasing of Lee gets the better of him as Lee lets it slip that he heard Stuart telling Jeff he’s spoken to Chelsea about keeping Viv in line. At half time Viv storms into the Players’ Lounge and confronts Chelsea over this, before returning to the tunnel where he head-butts Stuart! Lee has a poor start on his debut, leading Jeff to yell at Stuart to show Lee more encouragement and support. This gets through to Lee and he scores, although with Viv sent off the team lose 2–1 to Fulham. After the game, Lee is still bitter towards Jeff, and heads off with Joel instead. Nikki meanwhile finishes her exams in despair, already convinced she has failed.




·          Best Known For: Aside from being a writer, comedian and television presenter, the hugely successful Craig Charles became well known from starring as Dave Lister in the 1988-1999 sci-fi hit “Red Dwarf”, and its 2009 comeback "Red Dwarf: Back to Earth." Following his further guest appearances on Dream Team in Season 8, he lands the regular role as Lloyd Mullaney in “Coronation Street” from 2005 onwards.


The Best: Marcel singing the theme to “The Phantom of the Opera” when Abi attaches the mask to Clyde’s face. Stuart and Chelsea repeating the same speech to Viv: “A man can only be given so many chances. You’re lucky he’s not pressing charges.”


·          The Worst: Chelsea, from her rudeness to Grace at the party (“Is that your girlfriend?!”) to her childish giggling as Stuart tries to discuss the serious nature of Viv’s aggression.


Quotes: Pilar taunting Nikki: “I thought I already told you. You’re not agent material”. Viv on Chelsea’s introduction to Curtis: Chelsea: “…I’m trying to help”  Viv: “What by acting like a little tart?!”.


·          Foreshadowing: Stuart’s knee problems continue.


Additional Info: Joel tells Jeff he’s heard that Harchester are getting rid of half their youth team for financial reasons. Recurring team player Jon Whiteman makes his first appearance in this episode. Joel’s agency is called ‘Player Power’.


·          Surprise!: Jeff books tickets to Trinidad and Tobago with ‘Fresh’ airlines, one of several shout outs DT gives to fellow Hewland produced Sky One drama “Mile High”.


What Was The Score?: Newcastle game: Viv’s debut ends Harchester 0–0 Newcastle. Fulham game: Harchester lose 2–1 to Fulham.


·          Soundtrack: Elbow: “Crawling With Idiot”,  Fatboy Slim: “Right Here, Right Now”,  Sigur Ros: “Track 3.”


Screencaps from Season 7’s last repeat broadcast on Sky One in autumn 2006.

Chancer Joel and Chancer Jeff

 The Wrights move into Studs



No Viv! Not the urinal!

 No Viv! Not the champagne




Nikki cocks up... again!


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